Since Americans don’t really know anything about East Asian history, our movies about that part of the world tend to always have an audience-surrogate character — somebody the other characters explain basic premise stuff to, for the sake of viewers.
For whatever reason, that audience surrogate is nearly always some white guy interloper who ends up becoming the main protagonist. It’s a weird trope, but a lot of folks don’t really see the problem. So to explain the awkwardness, we’re going to redo some movies about European and American history starring East Asian characters. If this makes you feel weird, that’s a good thing — it means you get it!
The art here comes courtesy of TheWrap’s Jordan Burchette.
“Gladiator” starring Chow Yun-fat
Imagine pretty much the same movie — about a Roman general who’s named Imperial Regent when Marcus Aurelius decides his own son isn’t fit to become Emperor. Except we’ll have an extended prologue about Chow Yun-fat’s character walking 8,000 miles to Rome from southern China and quickly winning everyone’s respect with his mad-but-exotic fighting skills. but there’s still some racial tension. This is more or less how all the “white people in Asia” movies start.
“The Patriot” starring Ken Watanabe
Like “Gladiator,” this version of “The Patriot” is mostly the same but with a new backstory for the lead plus some racial tension: Watanabe plays a Japanese sailor whose ship was caught in a storm that sent it drifting across the Pacific Ocean, eventually reaching the California coast. He then makes his way east, collecting a wife and making some children along the way, stumbling into the French and Indian War. He helps out the British, winning their respect with his mad-but-unorthodox skill with an exotic weapon called a katana.
“Forrest Gump” starring Stephen Chow
This mid-20th century “American Dream” fairy tale takes on a whole new meaning when, instead of being about some dimwitted white boy from Alabama, it follows a Chinese tourist looking get the full American experience: playing college football, going to war in Asia, accidentally investing in Apple in the ’70s, watching his mother die for lack of good healthcare options, and settling down with the cool rebel girl who’s found Jesus and stopped doing drugs.
